Empty

I feel this thrilling electric sensation running through my veins, but suddenly i fall, and when you fall from the peek you fall hard. Energy is drifting away from my bones, my skin, my body until there is nothing left. A feeling of emptyness, just want to spend all day covered by the sheets, acting as if life is not happening, as if time has stopped and finally has given me a break. But it doesn't feel like a break, cause is not a feeling of calmness, or relief, is a small yet growing feeling of desesperation. And I hide myself, i hide myself away from anything that could hurt my delicate heart. I call myself confident, i call myself strong, strong till someone tries to come in, tries to open me up, tries to tear  the walls I unconsciously started building up the day someone played and dared to mess up my heart. Im not that strong, cause what's the point in being strong if you let your feelings aside? I believe strong is the one who is not afraid to loose. I was strong, I had it in me, I know I still have it, but this time is buried deep inside, and meanwhile I keep on builidng the walls that are not protecting me, but banning my will to live. I want to spread my wings and fly high, I want to open, to cry. How come I cannot trust no one around me, how come I cannot believe a word you say, or anybody says. And i get into my little box I call refuge, and I cannot even cry cause you've taken all my fucking emotions, and I miss you, you, the one who broke my heart in the first place, the only one who dared crossing the walls, breaking the walls, the one that made me dream, that made me believe. Fuck you. I hate you, I hate you even more now, cause I cant carry on. Why the fuck can't I carry on? I fucking hate all about you, your stupid look , your stupid eyes and your stupid words that made me believe you were the one.