Hate

Today I had a weird extreme theatre class. It was my turn to connect with my emotions, and my teacher decided I should express anger. It was really fun to do, though I got really deep into all that's stuff. It got me thinking all day long. So I was thinking I'd write about anger. About all those things that make me angry and crazy.

I hate when people tell me that I'm wrong. I hate being wrong. I hate when people push me when trying to walk among the caos of Buenos Aires. I hate public transport in Buenos Aires. I hate every single one that makes the train or subway stop. I hate when my friends shout to much. I hate it when my mother does not pay attention to me. I hate to be ignored. I hate the fact that I don't have a pet. I hate boys. Though i love boys. I hate them cause they are all the same. I hate them cause they only think about sex. I hate when they don't call. I hate when they call to much. I hate when they take you for granted. I hate when they hurt me. I hate when they don't care about be, but about what is going on in their pants. I hate them when they are superficial. I hate them when they leave. I hate them when they are slow. I hate them when they don't get it.I hate him, because he preffered her over me. I hate the fact that he didn't say goodbye or im sorry. I hate when people don't apologyze. I hate him and her girlfriend. I hate the thought of the two together living a lie.I hate that he couldn't see IM not a lie. I hate that he wouldn't love me back. I hate how he humiliated be.I hate to think about him. I hate how he still messes my head up. I hate how he controls me. I hate the fact that he could hurt me. I hate the fact that he was the only one who broke all the walls, who broke me. I hate to see couples cause I know I can't manage to sustain a relationship. I hate when they don't come looking for me. I hate when they give up so easily. I hate to hide away. I hate to be so embarrased when it comes down to two. I hate it when someone sings better than me. I hate making mistakes. I hate my mind. I hate the fact that sometimes i forget to live. I hate to be so stubborn. I hate to me so lazy. I hate to be perfectionist. I hate to hate myself. I hate heat. I hated when I'm hungry and food is not ready. I hate when my mom tells me to clean up my room. I hate it when she doesn't care about what i have to say. I hate that she is living in two places at a time. I hate when she gets crazy. I hate when she criticizes my brother. I hate when she fights with my brother. I hate when she forgets about things i asked her. I hate it when she does not go to the supermarket. I hate when she thinks she is better than me. I hate her being protective. I hate her beingso materialistic. I hate seing her sad. I hate seing how she tears herself appart. I heat people that intimidate me. I hate to feel inferior. I hate the fact that my father doesn't believe in me. I hate to be underestimated. I hate one of my "friends". I hate that she is so skinny. I hate when clothes don't fit me well. I hate dieting. I hate when I cannot sleep. I hate fish. I hate to be left aside. I hate to be distant. I hate to be cold and hide my feelings. I hate the fact that it is so hard for me to love. I hate the fact that it is so difficult for me to let people love me.

Empty

I feel this thrilling electric sensation running through my veins, but suddenly i fall, and when you fall from the peek you fall hard. Energy is drifting away from my bones, my skin, my body until there is nothing left. A feeling of emptyness, just want to spend all day covered by the sheets, acting as if life is not happening, as if time has stopped and finally has given me a break. But it doesn't feel like a break, cause is not a feeling of calmness, or relief, is a small yet growing feeling of desesperation. And I hide myself, i hide myself away from anything that could hurt my delicate heart. I call myself confident, i call myself strong, strong till someone tries to come in, tries to open me up, tries to tear  the walls I unconsciously started building up the day someone played and dared to mess up my heart. Im not that strong, cause what's the point in being strong if you let your feelings aside? I believe strong is the one who is not afraid to loose. I was strong, I had it in me, I know I still have it, but this time is buried deep inside, and meanwhile I keep on builidng the walls that are not protecting me, but banning my will to live. I want to spread my wings and fly high, I want to open, to cry. How come I cannot trust no one around me, how come I cannot believe a word you say, or anybody says. And i get into my little box I call refuge, and I cannot even cry cause you've taken all my fucking emotions, and I miss you, you, the one who broke my heart in the first place, the only one who dared crossing the walls, breaking the walls, the one that made me dream, that made me believe. Fuck you. I hate you, I hate you even more now, cause I cant carry on. Why the fuck can't I carry on? I fucking hate all about you, your stupid look , your stupid eyes and your stupid words that made me believe you were the one.

I feel like crying like a baby. I bumped into someone the other day, someone I haven't seen for about two years.. that someone broke my heart two years ago. It's funny how you strongly believe you are over someone just to realize he can turn your heart upside down with only one look. I opened the door and there he was standing waiting for his girlfriend to come down..(yes it is a complicated story) anyway we just stood there silently for about two seconds that lasted eternity to me. I was paralised, felt every bone, every inch of skin in my body tense, with no reaction, I barely opened my mouth for hello to come out though it camed out chopped by my unpredictable gasps. Now I can't stop thinking about the tricky way of destiny, I can't help thinking about him, and how he hurt me, how empty he left me, and how I'd still give him another chance.

Beautiful

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way

Just had my first Driving Lesson haha

Back to Childhood

Just watched Toy Story 3! Oh my I couldn't help crying! uf, guess it was a long journey to the past, I definately felt so touched by the movie! I'm 17 years old and Disney just wins me back again! I felt like the four year old I was when watching Toy Story the first. It made me cry like back then that's for sure hahaha.
Everyone told me how great the movie was but I never seemed to find the right time to watch it. Guess i waited for the Oscars to happen to realize I SHOULD whatch the movie, and im really glad I did. I even grabbed my old toys and rearrenge them in my room, guess childhood is pretty hard to let go. Im about to start college, and it seems yesterday I was playing with my Barbie at the dream house, life used to be so simple back then you know? Just getting back from school, grabbing the toys and playing till you were exaushted, or just going for a roller ride with my neighbour little friends. Not a care in the world, but to have the next Barbie that was released. Now I'm fucking stuck here looking up, wondering what the future is holding for me, figuring out what to do next and how to avoid fucking failure, dreaming and wishing your dreams will, someday, come true.

Inspiration Song, Billy Joel - Vienna

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

I love my Tattoo :)

I love my tattoo because it reminds me to be strong, to feel strong. It was inspired by John Mayer's song, Bigger Than My Body from Album Heavier Things. I love the lyrics because i feel identified with them, they talk about being trapped while you are pushed down by the world, by your surrounding not being able to spread your wings, till that momment when you can finally break free. It talks about not having limits in your life, of being bigger than your body gives you credit for. My tattoo represents the power to fullfill and reach anything I aspire in life. My soul is beyond tangible things, my soul is so intense and strong that will help me reach the unreachable, and anytime Im feeling grounded with my wings clipped, I know i have to reach into my soul, and know that someday I'll fly, cause Im Bigger Than My Body Gives Me Credit For

Mind set on Shaun White

Dont know how I ended up watching the outstanding Shaun White, in the campaign done by Red Bull, Project X.

Beautiful just how he flies!

The video is pretty long but if you kind of are into snowboarding its worth watching. It makes you feel alive, i can imagine the cold breeze as you slide down the half pipe, and of course the adrenaline flashing through your body, making every second enjoyable. A chance to let go of all that concerns you in your parallel life, the one you dont need to care about while you snowboard, for example, as you run free with an irreplaceable feeling. I just came back from Breckenridge, Colorado with my family, and I
can't seem to get enough, I wish we could get on a plane right now and go riding again. It is kind of a therapeutic way of handling things for me, is one of my favourite hobbies in life.

http://www.snowornever.es/la-pelicula-de-la-semana-project-x-shaun-white